


if it hurts how it should

by coffee_rings



Category: Fire Emblem: Fuukasetsugetsu | Fire Emblem: Three Houses
Genre: Cunnilingus, M/M, Practice Kissing, Pre-Timeskip | Academy Phase (Fire Emblem: Three Houses), Trans Felix Hugo Fraldarius, Trans Male Character, Trans Sylvain Jose Gautier, Vaginal Fingering, no beta we die like Glenn
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-30
Updated: 2020-12-30
Packaged: 2021-03-11 04:14:41
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 9,828
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28438953
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/coffee_rings/pseuds/coffee_rings
Summary: By the time Sylvain turned eighteen, Felix was the only close friend of his that he hadn’t kissed.That gave him something to look forward to.
Relationships: Felix Hugo Fraldarius/Sylvain Jose Gautier
Comments: 18
Kudos: 96





	if it hurts how it should

By the time Sylvain turned eighteen, Felix was the only close friend of his that he  _hadn’t_ kissed. 

Yeah. Feel free to take a moment to digest that.

Sylvain knew that his history with kissing was... unusual. First, he had kissed Dimitri when he was thirteen, because he had seen people kiss and wanted to try it. 

Or rather, he had convinced Dimitri to kiss him. “C’mon, Dima! All the adults do it! I bet you’ll want to kiss someone one day, so wouldn’t you rather practice it in advance? With me? Please please please—” 

He had begged inconsolably until Dimitri gave in and gave him a quick, hard peck. It was not as pleasant as Sylvain had expected; Dimitri had either underestimated his own strength or overestimated how much it was supposed to hurt.

It hadn’t been stellar with Ingrid, either. Sylvain had been fifteen at the time, hugging Ingrid and stroking her hair as she cried. 

“Sylvain,” she said, her face tear-streaked and solemn as she looked up at him. “Would you kiss me?”

He blinked in confusion. “Ingrid, what?”

“I just” —she sniffled, her chin trembling with the kind of weakness she wouldn’t show again for years— “I always thought Glenn would be my first kiss, and now he’s gone, and I—”

Sylvain kissed her. Gently, as kindly as he could, because he would have done anything to make her feel better. He wasn’t sure it worked, though. She just hiccuped and cried harder.

So, having already kissed two of his three favorite people, Sylvain was beginning to doubt whether kisses really felt good for anyone.

Now it was either curiosity or masochism (or perhaps a strange desire to complete his suite of kisses) that made Sylvain kinda wish he had kissed Felix, too. He would find himself staring at the back of Felix’s head during class wondering why he still hadn’t. 

It was bizarre. He spent most of his time with Felix, yet for all his contemplation, he still couldn’t find an adequate explanation for why he wanted to kiss Felix. Especially since he had no real desire to kiss Ingrid or Dimitri again, and especially since Felix would probably murder him for trying.

And he couldn’t find an adequate reason to beg Felix to kiss him, either. He wasn’t a kid anymore, nor was anyone in need of comfort, and Sylvain couldn’t think of any other excuse that would allow him to kiss Felix without it meaning something.

So of course, as fate would have it, the first time they kissed was almost certainly an accident. 

It was at the training grounds. As usual, sparring had devolved into wrestling had devolved into Felix trying to beat him to pieces on the floor. Felix was usually pretty good at it, but this time Sylvain had gotten Felix pinned with his back on the ground, and Felix was struggling to throw him off.

Felix had found mild success in the past in slamming his head back into Sylvain’s nose, so he resorted back to the same strategy again—but with the front of his head this time. 

He bashed his nose and mouth into Sylvain’s nose and mouth, and pain erupted in Sylvain’s face.

“Fuck! Timeout, I yield, I yield!” 

He rolled off of Felix and lay on the ground, chest heaving from the exercise and adrenaline. He felt like he must have lost teeth. 

He gingerly touched his face to assess the damage, wincing. His teeth ached and his lip stung. He knew he should have had a better pain tolerance by now, but pain always seemed to hurt all the same. 

His hand came away from his mouth bloody.

“Shit, sorry—” Felix came and hovered over him, hurriedly dabbing at Sylvain’s face with the hem of his shirt. 

“Hey, it’s okay! Don’t ruin your shirt,” Sylvain said with a laugh—because his face legitimately hurt, and laughter was the closest source of endorphins at hand. “Really, my blood’s not worth it. All of my other bodily fluids, though—”

“Shut the fuck up,” Felix growled at him before leaving and coming back with a clean cloth, pressing it to Sylvain’s face.

“You’re bloody too, you know,” Sylvain pointed out. There was a smear of blood on Felix’s lip, though there was no way of knowing whose blood it was.

Felix swatted Sylvain’s hand away. “Don’t care.” 

Felix knelt by his side for a long moment while they waited for his split lip to stop bleeding. Sylvain kept laughing under his breath all the while. 

“That really was a low blow,” he chuckled. “Like, really? Kissing me? I know they say I’ll kiss anyone at any time—”

Felix ignored him, grabbed his hand, and pulled him unceremoniously into a sitting position.

“I think your nose is bleeding, too,” Felix said, frowning. “You’ve got blood on your lip again.” He reached up to wipe it away.

At the same time as Sylvain’s tongue darted out to lick his upper lip. 

His tongue touched the side of Felix’s hand. 

“Fucking hell, keep it in your mouth, Sylvain!” Felix wrenched his hand away, looking supremely unsettled. He furiously wiped it on the leg of his pants as though he thought Sylvain’s saliva could give him a venereal disease through his skin.

“Hey, you kissed me first!”

“I didn’t  _kiss_ you—”

“Um, hello? You slam your mouth into my mouth? And then you wipe blood off my lip? Seriously, what’s your game here? Get me all hot and bothered so you can beat the shit out of me even faster next time?”

Felix snarled and threw the blood-stained cloth at him. “That’s it, I’m done for today.”

“Aww, come on! Take a little responsibility, will you?” 

Felix growled and marched himself away while Sylvain laughed at him, taunting, “You kissed me, you kissed me!” until he tasted blood in his mouth again. 

That was the kiss that made Sylvain believe there might still be happiness to be found in kissing after all.

The second time that he kissed Felix, it was by request, and (thankfully) not very long after the first time.

A month or two after the lip-busting incident, Felix tugged on Sylvain’s sleeve as class let out. “Sylvain,” he said in that point-blank manner of his. “You’ve kissed people before.”

“Uh, yes. Was that a question?”

“So you know how to do it.”

“Yeah? I’d like to think so,” Sylvain said, perplexed as to where this was headed.

“And kissing is... pleasant.”

“Again, I can’t tell if that’s a question...? But uh, it can be?” 

In addition to his largely disastrous kisses with his friends, Sylvain had started exchanging a few pecks with girls around the monastery by now. But somehow his favorite kissing experience to date was still nearly getting his teeth knocked in by yours truly...

Felix eyed him up and down, as if sizing him up to spar. “Teach me.”

“What?”

“I meant... can you teach me,” Felix said, still not using the right intonation for a question, as if the wording was Sylvain’s main source of confusion. “I just... don’t like being the last person to know.”

“I’m sure you’re not the  _last_ —”

“I just don’t want to be unprepared.”

“Unprepared for what?”

“Seriously, Sylvain? Are you really going to say no?”

Considering that Sylvain had decided a moment ago that he would’ve gladly let Felix injure him again if asked, no. Sylvain was certainly not going to say no to kissing him.

Sylvain dragged Felix back to his room—not an unusual occurrence, though usually Felix was the one to barge in and berate him for something or the other—and they settled on the bed the way they often did when Felix tried to force Sylvain to study with him: legs crossed, facing each other.

Sylvain’s limbs tingled with anticipation. “Well, best to just dive right in, right?” He started to lean forward.

Felix stopped him with a hand on his chest. “No tongue,” he said firmly.

“I wasn’t going to use tongue!”

“Okay then. Proceed.”

Sylvain reached up to touch Felix’s chin, then immediately dropped his hand as Felix tensed, skittish as a rabbit. “Sorry,” Sylvain said, his heart hammering, confused why Felix’s nerves seemed to be affecting them both. “I-I just wanted you to tilt your head a bit. Otherwise our noses will bump.”

“Yeah. Okay.” Felix tilted his head.

They leaned together, with Felix’s hand pressed warm and soft to Sylvain’s chest as if he were still thinking of pushing Sylvain away again. But he didn’t. 

Sylvain’s stomach burned as their lips touched.

He let their mouths come together lightly, his mouth brushing over the chapped surface of Felix’s. Felix was the one who pressed a little more into it, squishing them together, letting Sylvain feel how his lips gave way under the pressure. 

It was surprising for many reasons, not least of which was that it seemed to suggest this wasn’t Felix’s first real kiss. Felix would have been far more timid if it were.

Sylvain’s head buzzed at the unexpectedness of it. If anything, he had expected Felix to last for all of one second before recoiling from him and deciding kissing didn’t live up to the hype. But Felix was still here, and the proof was in the warmth against his mouth. Unlike his previous kisses, this one lingered.

And how long had it been, exactly? Sylvain abruptly felt like he should have been counting the seconds instead of getting lost in his head, but what was the appropriate duration of a kiss, anyway? Five seconds? Ten? He didn’t want to teach Felix wrong, but it certainly still  _felt_ right, so—

Felix’s lips left his. 

Sylvain opened his eyes only to find that Felix hadn’t gone far. He was hovering an inch from Sylvain’s face—his eyebrows furrowed in concentration, his mouth murmuring, “More.”

Before he knew it, Sylvain had a hand on one side of Felix’s face. He cupped Felix’s jaw as he brought their mouths back together. 

From there the kisses just kept getting better and better. Felix moved his head gently, as if nuzzling their mouths together, and Sylvain opened his mouth slightly—because frankly, he couldn’t resist. No tongue didn’t mean he couldn’t move his lips, right? He let his parted lips rest against Felix’s and exhaled, blowing a soft stream of warm air onto Felix’s mouth.

He thought he felt Felix shiver. And then Felix’s lips were parted too.

Excited by the response, Sylvain tipped his head a little more to the side, slanting his mouth to allow the line of his lips and the line of Felix’s to draw an X together, and Felix cooperated by tilting his head a little further too. Sylvain moved his lips then, allowing them to open wider before slowly closing them, dragging them shut over the surface of Felix’s mouth. 

Sylvain had never actually kissed like this before. His reputation as a flirt far exceeded his actual experience at this point, but he was assuming Felix wanted to practice more than just planting hesitant kisses onto an unmoving target.

So he opened his mouth to repeat the motion, and sighed when he felt Felix start to mimic it, rolling their lips together. Felix’s hand on his chest felt like the comforting weight of a blanket, and the movement of their lips in rhythm was soothing, like a rocking motion, or the dancing of flames—so really, it was no surprise that Sylvain let his brain switch off. 

He pulled back just far enough to speak. “Can I... lick my lips?” he breathed.

He saw Felix’s half-lidded gaze dart downward to his mouth for a moment. Felix nodded. 

Sylvain licked his lips, wishing Felix had left a flavor he could taste. 

They came back together again, and this time the way their lips slid against each other had Sylvain... really feeling things. Their lips locked together open-mouthed, the center of Sylvain’s lips fitting perfectly on the corners of Felix’s and vice versa, forming a warm, hollow cavern between them. And the fact that he could feel Felix’s lips wet underneath his, the fact that it was his saliva on Felix’s lips, slicking the way for both of them—it took every ounce of Sylvain’s self-restraint to keep his tongue lax in his mouth when it wanted so badly to reach out and touch Felix inside. 

Sylvain accidentally exhaled hard into Felix’s mouth, as though the immense feelings filling up his body were crushing out any room for air—and Felix breathed in deep in response. 

Sylvain’s heart stuttered.

He panted into Felix’s mouth. “You still doing okay?” he whispered.

“Yeah.” Felix executed a perfect, slow kiss on his mouth, his lips compressing from a soft open O to a smaller closed one. He turned his head slightly into Sylvain’s hand on his cheek. “I think... I think feeling your hand helps, somehow.” 

Sylvain was helpless to the feeling that those words brought washing over him. His other hand rose to Felix’s waist without him really deciding to put it there.

Though his overall awareness was foggy, Sylvain understood what Felix meant about hands helping. He felt Felix’s hand reach for his side, too, mirroring him, warm and heavy and a little bit forceful where it gripped him through his shirt. 

Then the hand on Sylvain’s chest slid up his neck and into his hair as they kissed again, and the touch of Felix’s hand on his bare skin felt so good that he wanted to share it. He started stroking the side of Felix’s face and neck with his fingertips, because if he could make Felix feel even half of what he was feeling now—

Okay, Felix  definitely shivered that time. Satisfaction spread through Sylvain like it was running in his bloodstream.

They kept kissing, working their lips together for so long that Sylvain’s mouth felt hyper-sensitized by it, going all tingly and reactive in ways that just seemed to build and build and build. His only outlet for it was in kneading Felix’s waist in his hand, because now that Felix had mentioned it, Sylvain’s mind couldn’t let it go. He wanted Felix to feel his hands as much as possible.

For some reason, Felix started breaking their rhythm every once in a while, pausing with his lips parted for an extra second before he continued moving them—and somehow, that just made resuming feel that much better, as though each tiny hesitation was a chance for Felix to pull away that Felix had used to keep kissing him instead. At least, that was how Sylvain was interpreting it, because obviously Felix was not capable of  _teasing_. Was he?

Sylvain tried to keep doing what he was doing (because Felix was in sync with him like this, and he was pretty sure they had just accidentally stumbled upon the best kissing technique ever) but there was something hijacking his ability to think. Something that had him panting harder and harder, wanting to—to kiss Felix harder, somehow. But not exactly  _harder_ , more like deeper, or more fully, or just  _more_ —

Felix’s lips dragged over his, slick and rough and insistent, and Sylvain gasped in pleasure. 

He gasped, because otherwise he would have moaned.

“I-I don’t know if there’s anything else I can teach you without using tongue,” he said, pulling away in a rush. His heartbeat pounded in his ears though they had barely moved.

Felix’s eyes fluttered open, and his face was tinged with pink. Was he... embarrassed...? 

“Oh. Okay. Thanks,” Felix said, looking vaguely disappointed. Or disoriented?“I should probably be going anyway—”

“Sorry,” Sylvain mumbled, before realizing he was still absentmindedly stroking Felix’s cheek with his thumb. He quickly withdrew his hand.

“That’s okay,” said Felix, peering at him. (And strangely, again, making intense eye contact). “I asked for this. So, uh... thanks.”

“No problem,” Sylvain said, smiling and trying to make it as natural as ever. “Well, I’ll see you around!”

“Yeah.” 

Felix slowly got up and seemed to hesitate before going to the door. 

“Okay. Bye,” he said, looking quite cute and frazzled. Sylvain gave him a little wave from where he sat on the bed, feeling horribly rude for not getting up to walk him out.

Felix shut the door softly behind him. Sylvain sighed, then put his hand to his crotch, and—yep. 

It was a good thing he hadn’t gotten up. He had definitely made a wet spot on the bed. 

He groaned and flopped back onto his bed, wondering what the hell was wrong with him. He continued idly rubbing himself at the memory of Felix kissing him, trying to keep the pleasant tingly feeling inside him burning. 

First his hand was on top of his clothes. Then it was under them. And then he stripped and kicked his clothes off the bed, and he was rubbing himself over and over, thinking of Felix’s chapped lips, wet with his saliva, how the jagged texture of them would feel on his skin, forming those little Os on his clit, on his aching, dripping hole—

He told himself he would change his sheets in the morning. But then morning came, and he woke up naked and skipped his morning classes to stay in bed and do it all again.

After that, Sylvain went a little sex-crazy. He wasted countless hours alone in his room, reveling in the depth of the pleasure his body was capable of when he let his thoughts run wild.

And then he reached a point when fantasy wasn’t enough, when he decided he might as well start earning his own reputation. 

He went out and kissed anyone he could get his hands on, chasing good feelings (and trying to figure out who the hell Felix had learned to kiss from). He perfected his kissing skills (with tongue, hoping that Felix would one day ask for a second lesson).

Felix, however, seemed to have gotten whatever he’d wanted out of their kissing session. As time went on, Sylvain started to think that it had in fact been the knowledge that kissing wasn’t for him. Because now whenever Sylvain mentioned anything about kissing or dating, Felix made a face like he was being served his least favorite food. 

So then Sylvain started fucking anyone he could get his hands on. If he couldn’t have Felix again, he might as well have orgasms.

He had to wait more than a year before he got to kiss Felix again, but it was that third time they kissed that Sylvain started to think this could become a pattern.

It was Felix’s birthday. 

“So, what do you want as your present?” Sylvain asked jokingly as they left the dining hall, the sun setting over the fishing pond and greenhouse as they made their way back to their rooms. “Favors count too—you know I’m an acts of service kinda guy. Ooh, I could set you up on a date! Would have to be a blind date if you want the girl to show up, though. Or I could take care of your sword after training, or—”

“Actually, I need to practice kissing again,” Felix interrupted.

Sylvain’s brain short-circuited. “Okay,” he agreed instantly before remembering that a sane person would probably ask at least one followup question here—such as “why” or “why me” or “who are you practicing for”.

Sylvain, too excited for his own good, led Felix back to his room and shed his uniform jacket. “Let’s start with what you learned last time, yeah?” he said, tossing the jacket over his desk chair.

He knew that chaste, slow kisses probably weren’t what Felix needed to practice again, but he selfishly wanted to feel the way that kissing Felix had made him feel last time. Somehow none of Sylvain’s make-out sessions since had been able to replicate it—and besides, he didn’t want to be too pushy right off the bat and scare Felix away.

He settled across from Felix on his bed. Felix regarded him warily. “No tongue,” Felix said again.

“Wait, really? Then what do you need to practice for?”

Felix flushed. “I mean—you can—I want to use... teeth.”

Oh. 

Sylvain scrambled to press their mouths together, but Felix was the one who guided his face to make sure they connected.

They did start off slow like last time, tilting their heads to that perfect angle where their lips formed a delicious seal together. No sooner had Sylvain closed his eyes than he felt Felix sigh against him, seemingly content. And Sylvain did feel the way he’d felt last time, or at least the beginnings of it.

But Sylvain couldn’t quite hide how eager he was. He pushed into the kiss, mouthing hungrily at Felix’s lips and once again kissing far too intensely for what they were meant to be doing. This was far too passionate to be for educational purposes, and he knew it. Felix’s hands flew to his waist while he pulled Felix closer with palms on the small of his back. 

Their mouths made soft little noises as they picked up that cyclical motion again, as if it had never really stopped, as if Felix had been keeping their time in his head the way Sylvain had. It felt absolutely divine, and Sylvain instinctively darted his tongue out to wet his lips.

Felix made a choked sound. 

“Shit, sorry,” Sylvain said, mind already muddled with arousal, “I was just trying to wet my lips—”

Felix pretended he hadn’t spoken and kept kissing him. Heat swirled in his stomach.

It felt even better than last time. And messier, and wilder, and harder to control, because this time Sylvain was intimately familiar with what has happening in his body. He’d had so much time since they’d last kissed to explore, to touch himself, and touch others, and let others touch him. And there were so many unintended consequences.

This time, Sylvain was fully aware of his cunt growing wet and hungry, of his clit throbbing in his pants. He’d gotten used to moaning openly, which made it an unimaginable struggle to try to hold back for Felix’s sake. He knew now that he could’ve rocked his hips against the mattress and the perfectly positioned seam of his pants for friction, making it veritable torture to stay still. He wanted to climb onto Felix’s lap and grind against his hip.

Trying to stay focused, Sylvain allowed his front teeth to snag lightly on Felix’s bottom lip the next time they pulled apart. He felt the muscles in Felix’s back go tight under his palms. “Was that okay?” he asked quietly.

“Yeah.” 

On the next kiss, Sylvain nibbled gently at his lips. Felix quaked slightly, but Sylvain didn’t stop. He caught Felix’s plush bottom lip between his teeth. He shifted his lips around it before releasing it, regretting that he had to let it go at all.

Sylvain did his best to tease Felix’s lips with little scrapes of his teeth, trying to remember that he was just demonstrating moves for Felix, but his hands had a mind of their own and were caressing Felix’s back in time with the little nips and bites. Sylvain couldn’t help it; he was obsessed with feeling Felix’s little twitching reactions, the way his back arched slightly before Sylvain’s hands smoothed out the tension again. It was just too fucking cute how sensitive he was.

And then Felix took  his bottom lip between his teeth and gave it a sweet, tentative suckle. 

Sylvain fucking _writhed_.

He forced himself to pull away, trying to suppress the moan that wanted desperately to come out of his chest. 

“Seiros, Felix, who the hell are you kissing like that?” he panted, struggling to find enough air to make his voice sound normal when he was breathless and burning with jealousy. “I mean, you seem pretty good at this already, so if they’re not satisfied with that, I’m not sure I can really help unless—”

“Would it help to lay down?” Felix asked.

Not at all. 

“Yes,” said Sylvain. He grabbed Felix and greedily pulled him to lay side by side on his bed.

“Teach me what to do with my hands,” Felix whispered before kissing him again.

That was all the permission Sylvain needed. 

He feverishly ran his hand up and down the curve of Felix’s back, wishing he could tug Felix closer until their stomachs rubbed together. Instead, he brought his hand down to the small of Felix’s back and massaged there. 

Felix shifted closer of his own accord.

Arousal made Sylvain reckless. He started moving his hand lightly down, lower and lower—

He heard Felix’s breath catch. “Sorry,” Sylvain said, quickly skipping his hand further down to stroke the side of Felix’s thigh. “I just wanted to show you the whole body can be an erogenous zone.”

Felix’s breathing was heavy and measured against him as Sylvain rubbed up and down his leg. “Yeah,” said Felix. “That makes sense.”

Did it? Sylvain was too far gone to think anything besides  _I touched Felix’s ass and it was soft and Felix isn’t even mad at me_.

He had touched Felix’s ass, and Felix was kissing him again.

Felix was kissing him  _excellently—_ raking a canine over his lip, kissing him so slow and deliberate, diligently copying everything Sylvain had done to him. 

Eventually Sylvain caught onto this and realized the opportunity he had. He started purposefully doing to Felix what he wanted Felix to do to him.

He ground their lips together hard, letting his saliva ease the slide. He sucked Felix’s bottom lip between his teeth again, drawing his teeth over the soft flesh.

And then he tugged, pulling Felix’s lip down toward his chin before letting it spring back into place. It made a little sound as it smacked back up against Felix’s bottom teeth. Sylvain’s stomach clenched tight.

And then Felix repeated the gesture on him, dragging Sylvain’s lip down with his teeth. And Sylvain realized Felix’s hand was squeezing his ass.

He felt like he was on fire. 

“Please, Felix, I want to use my tongue on you,” he said, the words spilling out as an embarrassingly needy whine. “Please, please, I promise it’ll feel good—”

At this point he couldn’t honestly tell if Felix’s purpose in doing all this was feeling good. It was entirely possible that Felix was just doing this to show off that he could beat Sylvain at his own game, or just to drive him fucking insane—but Sylvain wanted to cry with frustration at how badly he wanted to make Felix feel good all the same.

“Goddess, Felix, just let me kiss you properly—”

Felix licked Sylvain’s lips instead of responding. Sylvain gasped and wrapped his arms tight around Felix’s shoulders. 

He lapped at Felix’s lips in crazed, uncoordinated desire. Their mouths slotted back together. Felix’s tongue poked hesitantly between his lips, and Sylvain sucked lightly, welcoming him in. And finally the open space in their mouths wasn’t just empty air; it was where their tongues finally met in the middle. 

Sylvain could hardly believe how heightened his senses were as Felix’s tongue wiggled into his mouth. It felt so silky and strong against his, and he found it ridiculously cute that he could read Felix’s nervous uncertainty in the way his tongue moved, in each hesitant lick. While Sylvain was hungrily licking as deep into Felix’s mouth as he could reach, Felix’s tongue was curiously feeling out the shape of his teeth, tracing out the circumference of where their lips met.

And then Felix’s tongue did something so unconventional that it felt filthy. It curled into the space between Sylvain’s teeth and upper lip, the tip reaching up to stroke Sylvain’s gums, flicking the thin line of tissue connecting lip to gum just above his two front teeth. Sylvain’s whole body rumbled.

Oh no. That was a moan.

“Sorry,” he gasped out, feeling his face go red, “it was just—unexpected—”

“I don’t mind,” said Felix. “Was it... a good unexpected?”

A little whimper escaped Sylvain. “Yes.”

Felix’s hands moved to hold Sylvain’s face in place so he could force his tongue in and do it again. 

When they next broke the kiss, Sylvain stared at Felix, breathing hard. Felix’s tongue was still sticking obscenely from his open mouth. It slowly retracted, the soft pink of it disappearing into his mouth. 

“Sorry,” said Felix. “I cut you off. What were you saying?”

“Just that I... I really like unexpected.”

And that, Felix could do.

Felix was... well, frankly, a really fucking weird kisser. There was no other way to describe it. Felix played by no discernible rules. He had clearly been happy to just copy whatever Sylvain had done—which had been a bit weirdly methodical in its own way—but the things Felix was doing now that he was unleashed, free to explore however he chose, were a whole new level of unpredictable. 

After licking at the frenulum of Sylvain’s upper lip for a few more seconds, he went and did the same thing to the inside of Sylvain’s bottom lip. He swiped his tongue back and forth across the gums, between lip and teeth, and Sylvain was frozen, not even knowing what to do except moan and keep his mouth open and let Felix go wild. If there was one true thing in this world, it was that no one else kissed like Felix Fraldarius. 

Felix then picked one side of Sylvain’s mouth and slid his tongue as far as he could back along the gums, following the tip of his tongue with his whole mouth until he was thrusting his tongue in the corner of Sylvain’s lips, kissing the side of his mouth in an effort to shove in deeper. Sylvain was starting to think he’d misinterpreted what Felix meant about needing “practice”. Clearly Felix no longer needed someone to teach him, nor even someone to practice with. Felix just needed someone to practice  _on_. 

Then Felix turned his head entirely sideways so he could lick up into the inside of Sylvain’s cheek, lapping at him like he was trying to drink from him. “Mmm. Mmm, mmm—”

Holy shit.  _Felix_ was making that noise. 

“Felix,” Sylvain moaned senselessly, barely forming the word right as he kept his mouth lax for Felix to play with. “Felix, Felix—”

Felix stopped making out with the corner of his mouth. “Yes?”

“Oh. Nothing,” said Sylvain, feeling hot to the top of his scalp and the tips of his toes. “I was just—that’s a good reaction. It means you should keep doing it.”

“Okay.” Felix gave him a soft peck on the lips. “I... I think it also helps me when you talk to me. It helps if I know what works.”

Chills raced down Sylvain’s spine. He nodded fervently. 

From then on, Sylvain spoke between every kiss and sometimes during them, saying whatever nonsense came to mind. Because if Felix liked something, then he liked it, and if Felix was giving him an excuse to say how he was feeling, then he was going to do it. 

Starting with “Felix, Felix,” because it felt like heaven to say Felix’s name, followed by “yes, Felix, perfect,” because he wanted Felix to keep doing whatever he was doing forever. And then it was “mmm, just like that,” and “that feels really good,” and a desperate, husky “come on, give it to me.”

“Mmm, mmm—” Felix was mewling into the kiss again, and Sylvain’s rational mind dissolved. 

He pressed a knee up between Felix’s legs. Felix’s humming choked off in a gasp.

“Holy shit—”

Felix was so wet that Sylvain could feel the heat soaking into his pant leg. 

“Holy shit, Felix—” Sylvain was losing his mind. “Have you been like this the whole time?”

Another choked up noise. “N-not the first time we kissed? But the second time, yeah—”

Sylvain cut him off with a kiss, rolling his whole body into it, rubbing Felix’s cunt with his thigh. Felix moaned into his mouth, and Sylvain realized that oh,  _that_ was the sound Felix had been choking back—and oh, he wanted to hear it a million times in a row. 

He grabbed Felix’s hips and started slowly dragging him up and down the length of his thigh, feeling the sick squish of Felix’s wet cunt pressing onto his leg through three layers of fabric. Felix groaned low and sweet in time with the friction, rocking his hips sinuously into the motion. “Syl-Sylvain—”

“Fucking incredible,” breathed Sylvain, awed. He was watching Felix’s face twist with pleasure. Felix’s eyes were shut, his eyebrows furrowed in an expression that Sylvain knew was ecstasy. “Do you like this?” he asked, dying for Felix to want this even half as much as he did. 

Felix made that adorable choked sound again. “Yes.”

Sylvain’s cunt dripped with arousal. “How much?” he asked, the pitch of his voice dropping fast.

“A-a lot.”

“Yeah? You want me to keep doing this?”

“No,” said Felix. “I want to take these off.”

Within seconds, they had shoved Felix’s pants to his ankles. Felix hurriedly shimmied out of them, all four of their hands helping him undress. 

Sylvain paused with his hands on Felix’s hips. “And—”

“Yeah. Those too.”

Felix’s underwear came off, too. And then his shirt, and then Sylvain couldn’t even figure out what to do next, because Felix was naked next to him and wet enough to smell. 

Their lips collided like they were both thinking of devouring each other. 

Sylvain couldn’t even hear himself moaning anymore—he was definitely doing it, but he was too zeroed in on feeling Felix’s warm bare skin rubbing against his clothes, the malleable curve of Felix’s toned ass in his hand. Felix was muscular from how religiously he trained, but he was still perfect to squeeze, soft and plush...

Sylvain’s hand wanted to go lower, between those perfect legs. 

“You’ve... touched yourself too, right?” he checked. He didn’t want to assume and do anything Felix wasn’t ready for.

“Yes,” Felix said impatiently. “Like I said, not the first time, but the second—”

Oh, that was the answer to a question Sylvain hadn’t known he was asking. That Felix had touched himself after kissing him— 

“I did too.”

Felix gasped, then grabbed his hair and said, “Kiss me, Sylvain.” 

He didn’t have to be told twice. 

Sylvain kissed him, only stopping once to pull off his own shirt. He kissed him again while shimmying out of his pants, until he was nearly as naked as Felix. He kissed Felix and slid his hand down the sweet curve of Felix’s coccyx, following the cleft of Felix’s ass down, down, down...

And then he curled his fingers up between Felix’s legs. 

“Ah! Ah, ah—”

Sylvain easily found the wetness with his fingers. It was smeared all over, wetting Felix’s pubic hair almost to his thighs. The slickness was tempting and deliciously viscous on his skin, almost sticky to the touch—the perfect smooth texture for massaging all the orgasms he wanted from Felix’s body.

He rubbed, and Felix gasped and groaned and pushed his ass back into his hand. Felix’s lips parted readily, letting Sylvain’s fingers slip between them, gliding on slick. Sylvain applied slight pressure and felt the soft skin of its source.

Felix shuddered, beautifully reactive.

“So wet,” Sylvain said in a rough voice, a heady mix of appreciative and aggressive. Being able to feel and smell and hear Felix’s arousal was driving him mad.

Felix, adorably, kept trying to kiss him. Sylvain delightedly obliged him, though this time it was clear that Sylvain was the only one conscious of what he was doing. Felix himself was panting, licking at him haphazardly, clearly more focused on grinding his hips down against Sylvain’s fingers as Sylvain rubbed his cunt from behind.

“I’m close,” Felix said suddenly.

“Already?” Sylvain said, surprised. He hadn’t even started to focus on Felix’s clit or entrance yet.

“Just—just a bit more—” Felix rocked himself furiously, crying out in frustration—

“Hey, hey, it’s okay,” soothed Sylvain. “You don’t have to come as soon as possible.”

Felix’s chest heaved. “But I... I want to... to come with you.” Sylvain’s heart melted. “So how do I...”

“I could put my mouth on you,” Sylvain let slip.

Felix averted his eyes. “You don’t have to.”

“Felix. I’ve wanted to taste you since the second you took your pants off. Can I?”

Felix’s breathing went heavy. He rolled to lay flat on his back and said, “Yes.” 

Sylvain climbed on top, kissing Felix hard before he moved to lay on his stomach between Felix’s legs, Felix’s bare body laid out beneath him like a feast.

Felix was so wet that it had run down to his asshole; it, too, was shining and slick when Sylvain spread Felix open with his thumbs to look at him. The sight had his cunt leaking sympathetically. Felix was glistening wet, from clit to tailbone—but the soft, dark pink of his cunt was the true center of Sylvain’s attention. It had him mesmerized, entrance looking raw and firm and hungry, and Sylvain was more aroused than he’d ever been in his life.

The first touch of his mouth to Felix’s sensitive skin was just to wet his lips with it, make Felix shake with surprise. Sylvain pulled away after just pressing his lips against Felix’s folds, moaning as Felix whined sweetly above him. “So cute,” he murmured, drinking in the sound. He closed his eyes and kissed Felix’s inner thigh before going in for more.

The second touch was when he tasted it for real. This time when he kissed Felix, he poked his tongue out and pressed it flat to Felix’s center, letting him just feel it, get used to the shape of it against him. He knew from experience that the more time someone was given to soak in a new sensation, the more they would like it. And that rule went both ways. It already felt magical to have Felix on his tongue. 

Everyone had a unique taste, but Felix’s taste was perfect—salty and mild and earthy all at once. And so much of it, so much wetness to spare—Sylvain wanted all of it. He slowly moved his head up and down just a bit, letting the little bumps of his tongue rub over Felix’s slick skin. He loved the way Felix felt against him, springy and velvety soft, the way Felix shivered when he slowly licked up his slit. 

It sounded like Felix was enjoying it, too. He was gasping out pleased, encouraging noises above Sylvain, turning him on more. “I wanna come,” Felix whined impatiently.

“Working on it,” Sylvain said. He smiled as he suckled at Felix’s inner lips. 

On his next slow stroke of his tongue, he followed it up with a kiss on Felix’s clit. It was red and swollen, and even the gentle kiss made Felix whimper when Sylvain rubbed his tongue against the head. 

“Too much?” he asked sympathetically, looking up at Felix to watch his reactions. “Or does it feel good?”

Felix took a second to answer, red in the face and out of breath as he was. “I—I don’t know,” he said, looking frustrated. “It’s supposed to feel intense, right?”

Sylvain suddenly realized what the problem was. 

“You’ve never had an orgasm before, have you? That’s why you came to me for help.”

Felix turned his face away into the pillow. “I... I thought I had one. I’m pretty sure I did. After we practiced kissing last time. But then when I tried again, I just couldn’t. I tried, but—” He broke off with a cry when Sylvain kissed his clit again. 

“You mean you had an orgasm and then waited more than a year to have another?” Sylvain smirked as he resumed licking. “Goddess, Felix. Shoulda come to me sooner.”

“I thought I would—oh—be able t-to keep doing it on my own, but even when I—”

“Shh,” said Sylvain. It may have been hypocritical, but he didn’t want to hear about any sexual partners of Felix’s who hadn’t pleased him. He silenced Felix with pleasure, slowly kissing up and down his slit. “I’ll take care of you. Don’t worry about trying to come. Just let me make you feel good.” 

Felix nodded.

Sylvain spent the next few minutes tracing out every minute detail of Felix’s anatomy with his fingertips. He swept them over everywhere that Felix was flushed and soft, spreading his wetness. “Does it feel good here?” he asked, touching Felix’s perineum, the underside of his clit, the hood, the circle of his entrance. Felix nodded yes to everything, every time Sylvain asked. 

“Fingers or tongue here?”

“Fingers.”

“How about here?”

“I—both feel good.”

Sylvain grinned. “I’m glad, but I need you to tell me what feels best.” He rubbed a light circle over the head of Felix’s clit, first with one fingertip, then the tip of his tongue. “So?”

“Right on the center felt good. With your mouth.”

Sylvain dragged his lips up Felix’s core to his clit again. “Here?” He mouthed at the slick little nub. Felix groaned. 

Sylvain took it between his lips again, sucking slower this time, tickling it with the barest hint of his tongue. He gripped Felix’s thigh as it tensed under his hand. He swiped his thumb back and forth over Felix’s entrance, and Felix’s hips bucked up into his mouth. 

“I—I want something inside me,” Felix said.

“Something?” Sylvain teased.

“Your finger.” 

Sylvain slowly slid his index finger in. Felix gasped like it had electrocuted him. “Too much?” Sylvain asked again.

“No,” growled Felix. “Keep it there.” Felix bucked his hips again, hard, moving Sylvain’s finger inside him. Sylvain lapped at his clit and watched for several minutes as Felix writhed on his finger. He let Felix rock against the surface of his tongue, the hot weight in his stomach growing heavier at the sight.

Then Felix fell limp. “I—I can’t do it,” he admitted like it was a defeat. “Sorry.”

“Hey, it’s okay,” Sylvain said, quickly easing his finger out and petting Felix’s thigh. He’d thought Felix had really been feeling it. He wouldn’t have let it go on for so long otherwise. “What did I tell you earlier? Just relax and let me take care of you. I don’t want you to do anything that feels uncomfortable. Really. I’ve got you.”

He finally felt some little muscle that had been fluttering in Felix’s leg relax. “Okay,” said Felix. He looked down at Sylvain between his legs, expression devastatingly vulnerable.

With renewed determination, Sylvain kissed him all over—on his stomach, on his hair, on his slit. “Close your eyes,” he instructed. “You don’t have to come. I just want to make you feel good.” He slowly licked at Felix’s folds, batting them lightly with his tongue. “What turns you on, Felix?”

Felix squirmed. “I don’t know. Do you have any... suggestions?”

“Sure,” Sylvain said, laughing lightly. “I think most people like thinking about their partner when they have a partner they like. You could try thinking of someone you want to be with.” He wiggled his tongue shallowly inside Felix’s entrance to bring his awareness to it. “Does this feel good?” he asked into Felix’s body.

“Yeah.”

“Okay.” He licked, murmuring against Felix’s skin. “Close your eyes and think about how this person’s tongue is inside you, feeling how soft and warm you are inside—”

Felix whimpered, and Sylvain took that as a good sign. 

“They’re probably thinking of you,” he said, gaining momentum, his voice going rougher as he swallowed a mouthful of Felix’s slick. “They’re thinking about how cute your reactions are, how they can feel you getting wetter by the minute.” 

He started to thrust his tongue in and out, punctuating each phrase he said with a few solid licks inside Felix’s entrance and kissing Felix while he spoke. 

“They’re probably imagining how good you’re feeling. They’re hoping that they’re pleasing you. Thinking about how much they want to touch you like this all the time. How much they’re enjoying doing this for you. How good you taste.” 

Felix was breathing fast now, wiggling his hips and leaking faster onto Sylvain’s tongue.

“Try squeezing as tight as you can,” Sylvain suggested. He prodded his tongue inside and felt Felix’s walls tighten around him with a heady rush. Felix’s muscles trembled, fighting against Sylvain’s thumbs spreading him open. “Good boy,” Sylvain purred in approval. 

“K-keep talking,” said Felix, eyes squeezed shut, panting raggedly.

“Well” —Sylvain sloppily kissed his hole, mind running wild— “everyone has different preferences and fantasies, but maybe they’re thinking how they want to kiss you like this in the sauna, or in an empty classroom at night...” Sylvain drew little half moons up and down the side of Felix’s clit with one thumb, rubbing the little pink nub where it peeked out of the hood. “They could fuck you over the desk, or just kneel between your legs and eat you out—”

Felix gripped his head with both hands.

“Or maybe they’re hoping that they’re the only one who gets to see you like this,” Sylvain whispered. Felix’s hole made a wet sound as he sucked at it. “Wishing they could give you marks, bite your neck and thighs, suck bruises onto them to make sure everyone knows you’ve been taken—”

Felix’s muscles fluttered around his tongue. 

“Keep clenching around me—”

With a moan, Felix suddenly seized up, his back arching off the bed, his whole body shaking. His cunt pulsed rhythmically around the tip of Sylvain’s tongue with an intensity that surprised even Sylvain—and then Felix crashed, gasping, bucking his hips erratically, smearing his cunt all over Sylvain’s face, grinding against nose and mouth. “Sylvain,” he gasped brokenly, calling his name like a prayer.

Sylvain lapped at him until he was still again, and then gently pulled away, blood singing with arousal as Felix lay beneath him, catching his breath. 

“There,” Sylvain said, panting. “How was that?”

Felix twitched weakly and looked up at him, eyes blazing. “I... I want to do it again.”

Something in Sylvain snapped. 

“Lay on your stomach and spread your legs.” 

Felix rolled over like a trained animal, canting his hips up.

Sylvain got into position behind Felix, kneeling between his legs. He yanked Felix’s hips back toward him, almost to chest-level. He tilted them higher up into the air and took a second to admire the sight: Felix face-down on his bed, Felix with his perky ass in the air, Felix pushing back into his hands, the dark hair between Felix’s legs sticky with come—

And Felix’s cunt, pink and puffy and glistening, peeking through it. Sylvain could see it twitching, begging him to shove his fingers into that hole, between those swollen, messy wet lips. He traced a line between them, stroking from the firm, fleshy underside of Felix’s clit up to his hole. The tight furl of it pulsed hungrily at the touch of his fingertips, still oozing wetness from the orgasm.

“Goddess, Sylvain, just get your fucking fingers in m—”

Felix shoved his face into the bed and wailed as Sylvain sank two fingers into him, knuckle-deep. 

“Oh, fuck yeah,” growled Sylvain.

The warm tunnel of Felix’s body was like heaven wrapped around his fingers—hot and wet and curved perfectly for Sylvain to curl his fingers into. He rocked them in, pressing down on Felix’s walls every time he drew back.

Felix let out a frantic moan. “Fuck—please—”

Sylvain sawed his fingers in and out, unwilling to stop even as his wrist ached from the strain. He watched wide-eyed as Felix’s cunt swallowed his fingers, hardly believing that he was currently fucking Felix from behind, with Felix moaning like he needed every second of it. He jerked Felix’s hips back and forth with his other hand and pounded his fingers into Felix hard, so hard that it kind of felt like he was punching Felix in the pelvis with every thrust. But Felix was still whining, “Ah, ah, more,  _more_ —”

Sylvain reached in deep and stayed there, massaging just by curling his fingers again and again, scraping Felix open, holding Felix’s entrance flush with his knuckles. He rubbed at Felix’s slick inner walls until Felix’s legs jerked and his cunt clenched, coming around his fingers, each pulse squeezing out more warm fluid that dripped onto the bed. Felix whimpered and moaned, his whole body quaking, causing goosebumps to spring up on Sylvain’s skin. 

Once again, Sylvain failed to count the seconds, but the orgasm seemed to last for least a full thirty. 

When it was over, Felix went limp on the mattress, exhausted, uttering one last moan into the pillow, and Sylvain’s heart thundered as if he had been sprinting from the moment he put his fingers inside. And Goddess forgive him, he wasn’t taking them out until Felix asked him to.

Sylvain’s pulse was pounding in his cunt. He clenched, unsure if he had managed to come just from touching Felix. He could feel a little gush of fluid into his underwear, but it didn’t answer his question. Maybe he was just that wet.

Felix lay beneath him, panting, speared on his fingers. “Sylvain—” Felix awkwardly managed to roll over onto his back, panting and dazed, Sylvain’s fingers inside him. “How do I make you feel good?”

Affection warmed Sylvain to the tips of his ears. “Making you feel good makes me feel good too,” he said, gazing down at Felix’s dark, serious eyes and beautiful fucking body, overwhelmed with tenderness. 

“But I want to do something for you.” Felix stared up at him, determined. 

“I guess you could...” Sylvain gulped. “You could lick my fingers.”

Felix reached between his legs and grasped Sylvain’s hand, guiding his fingers out of him. With a soft sigh, he brought Sylvain’s hand to his mouth and took him in, eyes falling shut. 

Felix sucked hard at the digits, wiping them with his tongue. He was humming, making that sweet “mmm, mmm” sound from before. At this moment, Sylvain could think of nothing he loved more.

When Felix’s eyes opened, they were almost pure black, pupils blown wide. “I want to fuck you,” Felix said.

Sylvain wanted that so bad it ached. His core was burning with it. “Please.”

Felix pulled him down then, wrapping his legs around Sylvain’s hips to kiss him. They kissed and kissed and kissed, breathing together and running hands over skin, over chests and stomachs and legs until Sylvain couldn’t take it anymore.

He slipped off his soaked underwear, dropping it onto the floor, and then he climbed on top of Felix again, straddling his hips, pressing his cunt back against Felix’s leg. Felix let his other leg fall to the side and adjusted the one against Sylvain’s crotch so it was perfectly positioned for Sylvain to grind down onto. Sylvain started tilting his hips, riding his thigh.

Sylvain closed his eyes, moaning quietly—and then flushed as he felt Felix’s hand against him, fingers wiggling to get between Sylvain’s cunt and his leg. 

Once they were in place, Felix’s fingers provided an even better surface to rub against: they were uneven enough for Sylvain to feel his wetness collecting in the little spaces between Felix’s fingers, and they were moving, curling, Felix’s middle finger pressing up to slide between his lips, fingertip nudging Sylvain’s perineum. Sylvain slid along the full length of that finger, his clit dragging up and down from the fingertip to the callouses on Felix’s palm.

Heat, pleasure, friction. Sylvain moaned louder.

And then Felix’s middle finger slid inside, finally meeting the spot inside Sylvain that had been so hungry it hurt.

Now, hurt was the farthest thing from his mind; Felix’s finger felt like bliss, erasing every thought with the sweet burn of it inside him. “Ah, ah,” Sylvain panted, beyond words. “Fe, ah—” Felix slid another finger in, and Sylvain suddenly found speech again. “Yes—oh Goddess—yes, so good, feels so fucking good—”

He hadn’t thought anything could make this better, but the stretch made it better. The girth of Felix’s fingers seemed to force his entrance open, and yet it was easy, with his cunt so wet that he thought he could have taken two more. It felt incredible. He let his head hang and keened, the fingers feeling so large and deep inside him that they seemed to stab into his belly.

He rocked forward and back on all fours above Felix, the lips of his cunt wetly kissing Felix’s palm every time Felix was hilted inside him. The sound was obscene, a combination of the soft smack of Sylvain’s ass hitting Felix’s thigh and the repetitive squelch of Felix’s fingers inside him. Felix put his leg into the motion too, pushing up with his thigh to jam his fingers in farther each time Sylvain slid down on them, forcing the desperate cries out of Sylvain’s throat.

Sylvain heard Felix moan right along with him. He opened his eyes to stare down at Felix, dizzied by the vision: Felix’s eyes watching him like Sylvain was a god above him. Felix’s lips wet with his own come. Felix’s gorgeously round tits swaying up and down his chest with the force of Sylvain fucking his fingers, the force of Sylvain bouncing on his leg making Felix’s whole body sway up and down the bed.

And then Felix pulled him down and was kissing him again. Sylvain collapsed on top of him, reduced to lying on top of him, crying out into his mouth, hips twitching with Felix’s fingers still pumping up into him. Felix’s free arm hugged him tight around the waist, holding him down. It felt like magic coursing through him.

Felix fucked and kissed him through one orgasm, and Sylvain tried not to show it too much, because he wanted another. 

“Don’t stop, oh, oh—” He rocked his hips feverishly, dripping onto Felix’s pubic hair and grinding his clit into it.

“I won’t,” Felix breathed onto his lips, kissing him.

Felix’s mouth on his sent warmth radiating through Sylvain, tumbling down his spine.“Keep—ah—keep kissing me,” he gasped, making an absolute mess of Felix’s hand.

“I will.”

Sylvain came a second time, squeezing tight around Felix’s fingers. He moaned around Felix’s tongue in his mouth.

“Fuck, Felix, you kiss so well,” he babbled between kissing Felix madly, “don’t even—oh—don’t even know how you do it. You feel amazing, you kiss better than everyone else I’ve ever kissed before, it’s fucking crazy—”

“I’ve never kissed anyone else before,” Felix whispered to him, “but you’re—”

“What?” Realization crashed over him. “You haven’t?”

“No, I just wanted to—and you’re the only person I could imagine doing this with—”

“I don’t feel like this with anyone else,” Sylvain said, the words wrenching themselves free like he wouldn’t be able to live if he didn’t say them. “I wanted  _you_ , Felix.”

“I wanted you too.” 

Felix rolled them so Sylvain was lying underneath him, and then he was kissing Sylvain all over while fucking him, mercilessly rubbing the hot sore spot inside him, kissing his face, his collarbone, the aching pink tips of his tits—

Sylvain came harder than he’d ever come before, crying out like a baby, feeling as soft and helpless as one while Felix kissed him through it. He lost consciousness of everything but Felix’s voice murmuring to him and Felix’s fingers in his cunt. For a second he just lost consciousness, period. 

He came back to himself to find Felix draped over him, nuzzling their noses together. “Oh,” said Sylvain, understanding sinking into his bones. 

When Felix’s fingers slid out of him, the line of clear fluid connecting them stretched obscenely long. Felix had to lift his hand at least a foot away before the shining, spider-silk strand broke. Sylvain felt the cool thin line of wetness fall lightly on his stomach.

Without a word, Felix moved down Sylvain’s body and lay down with his head between Sylvain’s legs. Sylvain felt Felix’s tongue on his skin, Felix’s lips on his hole, gently sucking up the obscene amount of come between his legs, kissing him there too.

Sylvain shivered in pleasure and rested a hand on Felix’s head, enjoying for once the kind of treatment that was tender and slow. Each beat of his heart resounded through his chest.

“Felix...”

Felix breathed lightly against him and soothed his slit with his tongue.

He came one more time that way. Felix licked him clean for a moment more, before finally coming up for air and laying down beside him.

“How was that?” Felix asked quietly.

“That... was fucking amazing.” Sylvain grinned, equally elated and incredulous. He was still riding the high from the orgasms, but it had turned into something mellow and gorgeous, like the touch of sunlight on skin.

“Are you mocking me?” Felix asked, frowning.

“No! I would—”

“Don’t say you would never,” said Felix. “We both know that’s not true.”

Sylvain laughed and hugged him, even as Felix made a face like a cat that was unhappy to be picked up. “It really was great, though. I just...”

“What?”

“I can’t believe  _you_ seduced  _me_.”

Felix huffed in annoyance, staring stubbornly at the ceiling. “Well, waiting around for you to make a move was getting us nowhere.”

Somehow that was the cutest thing he could have possibly said. A broad grin spread across Sylvain’s face.

“I think I’m in love with you.”

Felix sharply turned to look at him, shocked.

“Shit, was that too soon? Sorry, I didn’t actually mean to say that right away...” Sylvain propped himself up on one elbow, chin in his hand. “But it’s true. You don’t have to say it back. I just want you to know.”

Felix didn’t seem to know what to say. “I don’t...” He sighed heavily. “Yeah. I’m not ready to say it yet.”

It took Sylvain a second to understand. 

“You... yet?” he slowly pieced together.

“Maybe never, if you keep being an asshole about it,” Felix grumbled. 

_ Maybe never.  _

Those were the words Sylvain remembered, because inherent in _maybe never_ is the word _maybe_.

He remembered them when the world went to war a month later, when Garreg Mach fell and their lives as they knew them were ripped apart. 

He remembered them every time he thought about the prospect of spending the rest of his years in frigid Northern Faerghus, losing hope with each day that passed that he would ever see Felix again.

He remembered Felix’s words every time he went out and fought like he wanted to die.

_Not yet._

Felix gave him something to look forward to.

**Author's Note:**

> this fic was inspired by the absolute tragedy that felix has his birthday in pegasus moon and garreg mach falls during lone moon immediately after... also i love and treasure every kudos and comment i get so thank u very much <3


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